D o g s   o n   t h e   D o l e

In Denmark the social welfare system is all encompassing.
If you wake up after a bad dream, there's a number to ring.
If your date doesn’t show and leaves you pensive and self pitiful,-- no problem.
Call an ambulance, they'll whack you full of morphine and drop you home.
They have a department that deals exclusively with state sponsored fashion accessory advice. They have another that deals with theological ennui, the existence of God and late 20 century angst. They'll whack you full of morphine and drop you home.
If you are a member of a union, (and everybody is) and lose your job,
you get the dole and once a year enough extra to travel off anywhere and
take a break... a well deserved rest, from, well..um..ah.
The Danish unemployed dog owner has also been considered.
The government has a pay scale determined by breed and size and pays a pet food allowance.
Every dog in Denmark gets to eat out of a can. That's the dream.
I'd like to know where in the Danish constitution it says " You have the right to social security, free expression and a dog."
Human nature being what it is, the unemployed simply have the biggest dogs, feed them scraps and spend the rest on lives essentials, Beer, hash, baked beans and toilet paper.
You could make a fortune breeding mastiffs here.
I've got nothing against dogs in general, accept Lassie and Benji , Who, if I had my way, would be shipped to the Philippines where they would be hung in someone's back yard by their hind legs and beaten with a large stick, slowly and thoroughly, bruising and tenderising their flesh for cooking. Benji for starters, Lassie the main course, maybe Pluto for dessert.
Its all so insular and domestic.
You have to ask, what makes it so important for the unemployed to have pets?
Is it a contrived safety valve?
"I’ve got a bus pass, one paid holiday a year, a subsidized apartment for life and a dog to kick whenever I realize that life is comfortable and I’m a powerless, worthless cog in someone's saccharin utopian wet dream."
Beer, hash, baked beans and toilet paper.
Idealism in a vacuum means nothing.
Denmark's got a sad streak of smug, pampered, pompous self righteousness.
They badly need their bubble popped.
I long for the day when they’re overrun by Muslims, East Germans, refugees from the middle east, anyone who's suffered more than having to stand up on the bus occasionally.