The guru lurk is a profound transcendent cynic with a theology of distaste allowing
his followers to hold their spirit levels high.
The pillar of faith on which this theology squats is a collective and heartfelt
belief that elevation and inversion are all that can make the human condition
We believe in levity literally
one way to demonstrate our faith is to spend as much time as possible evading
the ground surfaces usually associated with gravity, stilts, hand holds on ceilings,
trusses, spring boots, those Japanese wooden sandles, any tangible effort made
to contest gravity in the pursuit of levity is itself an act of faith, both the
process and the goal and one of the central tenants of our pulpit.
Inversion being a means by which true peace can be attained is also a fundamental
anti-gravity belief system-Standing on ones head or suspending oneself upside
down are disciplines practiced daily by the true believer.
Gravity in all its forms,mortality, undue seriousness, any squat insularity that
allows for things to condense or compact, under their own or any gravity whatsoever
is the bane and considered foe of the guru lurk and his many followers.
Also running throughout the teachings of the Guru Lurk is the firmly held belief
that the pursuit of consciously pointless goals , is in itself, a valid reason
Hence our collective predisposition towards street theatre.
Remember--Burlesque terrorism hurts no-body.
The minimum daily regime is as follows.
Rotate your eyeballs to their highest point-without strain- and breath 5 deep
slow breaths through the nose. Then open eyes.
5 minutes headstand.
20 minutes deliberately evading ground surface
10 minutes in sling-(see diagram)
Make voodo dolls of all your friends and display them prominently
Festoon your envionment with Anti-gravity Dubious Retail products
Quantify chaos with ritual
Try thinking with your genitals.(you will anyway)
Cook and offer food
Write letters and public contributions
Short periods preset of study
Preset periods of making light
.Any questions, comments or criticisms can be directed to
Please remember that The guru lurk, while not a particularly busy Guru, does
carry a certain collective spiritual responsibility and so will get back to
you most possibly in this life but not always.